The Book of Love 2

INT. TRAIN -- AFTERNOON

The Eurail rolls along.  Inside, passengers sleep, read, and stare out the window.  A few walk up and down the aisle.  CELINE, a young woman in her mid-twenties, is curled up in her seat reading George Bataille's Story of the Eye... Sitting four rows back and on the other side of the aisle, JESSE, also mid-twenties, is engrossed in Klaus Kinski's memoir, All I Need Is Love...

You may remember this as the opening of Before Sunrise (screenplay by Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke).  What I like about what follows is how -- typical of the entire film's sensibility -- the obvious aspect of the set-up is willfully ignored.  Celine and Jesse do start up a conversation, but it's triggered by an arguing couple stalking out of the train car, and when our heroine and hero compare books... neither has much to say about either title, and the dialogue moves on.

Nonetheless, Linklater & co. were at least acknowledging that in an encounter between strangers of the opposite sex, next to clothing and accessories (including perhaps slogans on t-shirts), nothing serves as a better shorthand indicator of character -- or offers a better opening --than choice of reading material.

Over a year ago I posted a piece here about encountering a woman in the gym whose choice of reading matter short-circuited any thoughts I might have had of flirting with her.  The question I asked of readers then was, what books would they consider turn-offs?

Recently, reader Grieg brought this article from the Guardian to my attention, which goes at the same issue from the opposite end.

According to a survey of over 2,000 adults carried out by internet pollsters YouGov for Borders bookstore, books play a crucial role in influencing our opinions of strangers. Half of those asked admitted that they would look again or smile at someone on the basis of what they were reading...

Not only does sitting with your nose in a book positively influence others' opinion of you, it could actually - get this - lead to sex. A third of those surveyed said that they "would consider flirting with someone based on their choice of literature". It's finally official, people. Reading is hot.

But before you trip off to the park clad in your most fetching sun hat and clutching your copy of the latest Jilly Cooper - be warned. Not just any book will do...

Indeed.  And actually, while the article itself is amusing, the real fun can be found in the lively discourse that follows it, as some very disparate people make their wildly all-over-the-map (and of course, revealingly personal) choices for what constitutes an arousing title.  In some cases, you get a kind of plaintive snapshot of the lovelorn, such as this from chris1984:

any girl reading kafka or beckett or dostoevsky...but the day will never come.

A few comments later, hapless chris1984 does get a kind of closure, from literelief:

Chris1984, you missed me reading Kafka a couple of months ago, but it wouldn't have worked between us because I thought it - and bloody Kafka himself - was miserable and life denying. Am back reading Irish non-fiction and having more of a laugh.

Eightball provides a real-life cute meet (resolution unknown):

I pointed out to 2 strangers standing side by side on the tube that they were both reading the same book, 'Down and Out in Paris and London'. Hopefully that led to romance, she was beautiful. And a lesser known book by the author of several classics has obvious pulling power.

I liked MetaMaa's flair for drama:

You know what would be love at first sight? Someone (attractive) tossing [The Da Vinci Code] out of the window. Or getting up to stamp on it. Something to illustrate their hatred on a grand scale.  More generally, I love checking to see what people are reading. If I can't get a look, I've been known to follow the person until I catch a glimpse. Maybe I shouldn't admit to that.

Inevitably, there are exchanges like this -- Joana giving a thick para of specifics...

Some books which would make me sit up and take notice: anything by Murakami; any Ishiguro after (and including) The Unconsoled, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer...

And six minutes later, a response from bananawater:

Joana: you've pretty much summarised my literary tastes. what are you doing this weekend?

A query from Oscolai:

How about those of us who get queasy reading on public transport? Are we doomed?

Albion71 plays the other side of the coin:

I have no wish to make eye contact with judgemental pseuds lusting after my book choice. All I want is a bit of quiet time to read something that interests me.  Anyone approaching me while I read on the tube will therefore be thumped soundly with whatever book I am reading, so I advise you to try me when it's poetry - there's less damage to be taken from a slim volume.

Not to be deterred, northernnomad asks:

So, does anyone have any suggestions for potentially useful opening conversation lines for bookflirters?

And gets one good answer from finishedfortheday:

'Is that a DeLillo in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?'

Alright, Americans (and all other nationalities including Brits who missed the Guardian issue): what book -- in the hands of a perfect/imperfect stranger in a public place -- would cause you to make a wannabe-lover's leap?  Living RomCom wants to know.

Comments

[binnie]

THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE by Audrey Niffenegger
BORN TO KVETCH by Michael Wex
BEL CANTO by Ann Patchett
VOODOO HEART by Scott Snyder
THE BEAN TREES by Barbara Kingsolver
SUITE FRANCAISE by Irene Nemirovsky
BOOK OF LONGING by Leonard Cohen
WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS? by George Carlin

[jamy]

I won't answer your question, but I'll share this story...

I was on the phone the other night with the current object of my affection and he was disappointed to hear that I'd never read "The Lord of the Rings" (would have been pleased to know I saw all three films?). He said, "You lose points for that!" I said, "What is this, a test? Am I being graded?" He said, "Yes. And you get an F+."

Guess I better get to work! ;)

[E.C. Henry]

Books that make me intereseted in the opposite sex? Hmm...

Since I'm looking for the real thing and not just a one night stand I'd have to say books seeing a girl reading a book on the screenwriting craft, or how to write epic fantasy would get me to respond. If I saw a woman of comprable age reading C.S. Lewis, "The Chronicles of Narnia" and heard her say that Aslan the lion was a lot like Jesus, well I'd just freak (cause she's right and so few people get that) and I'd have too get to know her more.

When I dabled in the on-line dating thing (6 months for $57.00), I looked at a lot of girl's profiles and found the # 1 book girls age 30 - 37 were reading was Dan Brown's "The Davinci Code" and "Angel and Demons." Herd mentality or was that book just THAT good? I'm inclined to believe the former.

- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA

[ScribeLA]

Veddy interesting. "Before Sunrise" has been one of my top movies since it was released - I love and adore it. The follow up, "Before Sunset," I think is lacking, but still full of quality.
What books would make me consider a man more seriously? On The Road, The Notebook, basically anything Dostoevsky, Kierkegaard, or Nietzsche (Philosophy major, I can't help myself). I'm sure there are others, but this is off the top of my head.
Cheers.
Scribe

[kristen]

Anything by Dan Chaon or Amanda Davis.

One day at Coffee Bean I saw a cute guy reading a battered copy of The World According to Garp, and I admit, I did a double take.

Ditto for a dude on an airplane reading the hardcover copy of "Collapse" by Jared Diamond. Talk about dedication and intellect. That book is very unwieldy.

[Ruth]

The man intently doing the New York Times crossword puzzle is the man I'd cozy up to. Covers so many telling points, including books read, I practically don't even need to know his sun sign.

[mernitman]

Binnie: So a sci-fi Jewish opera-loving gris-gris literati ambivalent about the French but pro-Canadian, with a sense of humor...

Jamy: No offense, but I'd give your guy a "D" for lack of gentlemanly behavior and perspective...

EC, sounds like you've got your work cut out for you...

Scribe: I'm trying to imagine the man who's read The Notebook AND Notes From Underground (!) -- good luck with that...

Kristen: Yes, the Chaon-Davis guy would definitely suggest a mind worth meeting...

Ruth: And even if there's no spark, you could assist him with 34 down, etc.

[ScribeLA]

Billy,
LOL. "Scribe: I'm trying to imagine the man who's read The Notebook AND Notes From Underground (!) -- good luck with that..."
Thanks for the luck, as it seems, I'm gonna need it...:-) A girl can dream, can't she?
Scribe

[Scott the Reader]

As a happily married man who is off the market, now I'm worried that if I see a woman in a coffee shop reading one of my favorite books, I'm not allowed to say "I love that book" to her, because suddenly that's flirting.

Though if she's reading your book, I might have to make an exception :-)

[MaryAn]

These days, I'm thrilled to see a generation that still reads books. I don't care what it is so long as it's not a video game guide.

[Jen]

So much judging to do in so little time! He could easily just catch my eye by reading a book I hadn't heard of (ooh, esoteric!) or by reading something cool, like Motherless Brooklyn by Letham or Chronicles by Dylan.

Otherwise, unless it's the Dummies Guide to MySQL, just the act of reading a book is pretty hot.

[jamy]

Hmm...I actually thought the "F+" comment was funny since it was so silly over the top. Maybe you had to be there. :(

[mernitman]

Absolutely, Scott, and just send her over to this blog... ;-)

MaryAn, I'll drink to that.

Jen, I'm with you on the Dylan and Lethem (I'd really be excited if they were reading his early "As She Climbed Across the Table")...

Jamy: So sorry -- I didn't catch the warm-and-fuzzy-ness that probably accompanied said remark in context -- I take it back; I think he's a peach. ;-)

* Hey Americans, I'm surprised to see how civilized you all are re: each other's responses; aren't the Brits supposed to be the polite ones?

[mike]

Anything by Tom Robbins or Chuck Klosterman, but that might be the "indie rock"/slacker thing going on my part. Still, "Killing Yourself To Live" by Klosterman or "Still Life With Woodpecker" will get me talking in a hearbeat.

[Sal]

Another post I should go away and think about .... but instead, I'll think quickly.

I'd be put off by blokes reading Andy McNabb or any of that gung ho macho stuff; I'm automatically curious if I see a bloke on the tube reading a script (even though my actor detectors are flashing contrasting signals: "beep, beep! cute actor ahoy!" vs "ne na, ne na, actor alert, bad news in the dating stakes!" I'd be intrigued by a man reading something serious, e.g. Ian McEwan or A S Byatt, or one of my more obscure favourites such as Patrick Gale or Niall Williams. Although Martin Amis would be off-putting.

I once got into conversation in a pub in Galway because of books - I was on my own reading a collection of short stories, and a cute bloke reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" struck up a conversation - we ended up spending a lovely afternoon at a gig together, then went our separate ways. Never saw him again, but have nice memories.

[Writergurl]

Well, that's a hard question to answer. See, I'll read anything so I don't make judgemnts based upon what he/she is reading. In the last 2 months I've read authors as diverse as Harlan Coben, (several of his titles) Jeffery Swofford (Jarhead), Jennifer Cruise (girly beach stuff) as well as a nutritionist's guide on how to eat correctly... So, based solely upon my own esoteric collection, I'm not prepared to make a snap judgemnt based upon a single book. I think that reading a variety of things is like listening to a wide variety of music... shows an open an hungry mind... whihc I'm definitely attracted to. So, I'll reserve judgment until I see the bookcase!

[Janet]

The first book that comes to mind is The Sun Also Rises as that was the last book that was read cozily with one of the opposite sex.

Classics are always a draw. A man reading Alice in Wonderland or The Wind In The Willows? I need his number. Should he be reading plays, whether I have heard of the title or not, my interest is "perked" immediately.

[mernitman]

Mike: Ah, yes, the Woodpecker... and the Princess Leigh-Cheri...

Sal: A man reading Byatt? If I was a woman, I'd go out with him...

Writergurl: "an open and hungry mind" -- yes, that's what we're looking for...

Well, actually, Janet, "Alice" is one of my all-time favorite books, and I re-read it every couple of years or so...

[alisa kwitney]

I say married doesn't mean you can't lit flirt (flirtation doesn't have to lead to bed, and I like the French attitude that it's part of what makes life lively.) Of course, as a rule there's nothing interesting about flirting with someone who's reading anything on the top of the NY Times Bestseller list at the moment. Most likely to get a response from me in public -- forgotten classics, vintage noir and Vertigo comics. But if I saw someone reading the Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, I'd have to say something.

[binnie]

That's right, Billy, I'm an enigma. But you already knew that!
If I saw someone reading YOUR book, I'd talk to him for sure.

[mernitman]

Alisa: Yes, let's hear it for "harmless" flirtation! We could all use more. Meanwhile, you get the Most Particular Award for your book selection... don't suppose Dream Books of the Glass Eaters would be quite so attractive...

Binnie: Sure -- my book's like an open invite to... all of the above.

[adam]

Having a degree in psychology and English (yes, I know, it really equipped me to conquer the world), I have some thoughts on this.

Many of us, at least me, are so freaking impressed with ourselves when we’ve actually read a book that if we were to see someone else reading the same book . . . well, then it’s divine love, the stars are aligned, this must be the one! I mean, what are the odds? I read a book. She read a book. And by God, they’re the same book! Baby, let me mark your pages!

Oh, sorry.

Psych/English majors suffer from a rare disorder called the Oedipus Complex Sentence. I’ll retire back to my hole.

(Leaving the sick pun.)

[Tiago]

I've never met, in any circunstances, a girl reading at the exact same time the exact same book I was reading (I think that would be the only way I would say something). But I guess that I never wanted that to happen. I always tought that if that day would come, the odds of the girl reading the book of being uptight and with her nose in the air would be high. It's usualy the impression I get from people reading books, excluding me :P

[Brooke]

Screw the title, I'd be happy to just meet a guy who reads for pleasure.

[Write Procrastinator]

Of course I'm married, so I'm out of this, so-to-speak. As a subject, this does interest me because The Missus and I couldn't be any further apart, in terms of choice of reading.

She reads self-help books (like Tony Robbins) and Ayn Rand, two subjects I couldn't be any less interested in. Conversely, she's my soulmate and we do find a book here and there that we can both agree on.

Yet, last spring, I got excited (in the fan sense) that a woman at work was reading Michael Connelly. This was cool for me, because most of my coworkers are into Tom Clancy or bodice-rippers.

We talked about Connelly for a few minutes and left it at that, me being married and she being a lesbian.

Literary compatability, does not necessarily translate into relationship compatability.