...And now that I've got your attention: do you think the New York Times has lost its mind? Every few days now, the front page appears to have a case of Alzheimer's, spewing out random non-sequitorial "news stories" that read more like Onion parodies of same, in which some already universally acknowledged piece of information is treated with "alert the media!" importance. Like this recent article, The Whys of Mating: 237 Reasons, a report on a report whose real headline could have been: Men Will Say Anything to Have Sex, Study Finds.
After asking nearly 2,000 people why they'd had sex, the researchers have assembled and categorized a total of 237 reasons -- everything from ''I wanted to feel closer to God'' to ''I was drunk.'' They even found a few people who claimed to have been motivated by the desire to have a child.
This is news, I suppose, but the central findings of this University of Texas at Austin team stop somewhat short of earth-shattering.
The best news is that both men and women ranked the same reason most often: ''I was attracted to the person.'' The rest of the top 10 for each gender were also almost all the same, including ''I wanted to express my love for the person,'' ''I was sexually aroused and wanted the release'' and ''It's fun.''
No matter what the reason, men were more likely to cite it than women, with a couple of notable exceptions. Women were more likely to say they had sex because, ''I wanted to express my love for the person'' and ''I realized I was in love.'' This jibes with conventional wisdom about women emphasizing the emotional aspects of sex, although it might also reflect the female respondents' reluctance to admit to less lofty motives.
I do like the way they broke down the 237 into four categories of reasons (Physical, Goal Attainment, Emotional, and Insecurity). But the absurdity of the enterprise -- I'm looking forward to the Times headline: Sex Found to Be Pleasurable, Mostly, Report Says -- made me want to forget the whole thing and go to a movie. Like maybe a movie that made Nerve's posted list of The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema.
Call me kinky, call me crazy, consider me your average human: the voyeur in me has an unabiding interest in erotic (as opposed to pornographic) cinematic moments, perhaps because such moments are all too hard to come by. A subjective list, of course, and subject to fun debate, but it's also a great basis for your next round of Netflix or Vidiots renting. I was happy to see some personal faves here (anyone notice any key omissions?) and to note a few that I've yet to check out.
Though why wait? If like me, you're a typically 2000s immediate gratificationist and need a quick fix, you can quickly click on from the Nerve List to this mash-up video, Put Your Hands Up For Detroit by Fedde Le Grand, a deliciously dirty serving of classic retro bump'n'grind (and fashion -- dig that crazy cat suit!).
Y' know, folks, there's only so much romance I can take. Sometimes you just want to get down with your bad self.