10 Screenwriting Clichés That Refuse To Die

Occasionally one does see a new movie cliché in formation.  Given the impact of Kick-Ass, we may now be in for a decade of "pre-teen curses like a sailor before kicking a villain's butt" moments.  And I can remember, long, long ago (i.e. before The Matrix) when action sequences didn't always have those "characters hang in mid-air while dodging extreme slow-motion bullet trajectories" bits in them.

Yet once they're created, some clichés never die.  Does it matter that most people (discounting hipsters and DJs) don't own turntables and play records in 2010?  Not to movie trailer-makers, who continue to use that hoary "sound of the needle scratching across vinyl" as their standard comedic "someone just screwed up a good time" device.  The ubiquity of say, "Cover me - I'm going in!" or "We've got company!" as uber-clichés of dialogue is evidently timeless (take a look at this great compilation video to see the latter line in all its eternal glory).

Movie clichés abound - pick a genre or element like dialogue or character; here's a recent cliché exposé, and an entire site that has encyclopedia-ized them.  Nonetheless, I'm incredulous when I see a cliché in a new spec script, implying that the writer must be a wit-free hack (e.g. in rom-coms, one dead climactic routine still appears with bewildering regularity).  Here's a short list, compiled with the help of my fellow story analysts at Uni, of clichés found in contemporary studio submissions, despite for-the-love-of-God, Monsieur! evidence that by now, they should really be long gone.

The Fired & Cheated-On Setup

Apparently it's never enough for a protagonist to be fired from her/his job as the catalyst for a story.  No, they have to come home from being fired and find their lover in bed with another woman or man (with both would be nice for a change, but that would suggest a modicum of originality).

The First-Time Stoner Set Piece

Yes, some states in our union are flirting with legalizing marijuana, but that's no excuse: Why do so many spec screenwriters think that the "unlikely straight person eats pot brownies by accident" routine is something new (or beloved) under the comedic sun?

The Unbearable Failure of Engines

Just as any protagonist who's beginning a new life by driving off in a car must inevitably suffer the car's backfiring, if a character is desperate to escape peril and jumps into a car, you can bet your Fire the Writer bumper sticker that the engine will not start at first, whatever the auto's make, year or model.

Worst Screenplay Opening in the World

Used to be "Protagonist wakes up in the morning," but Screenwriting For Dummies must've put the kibbosh on that one.  How-To books have not succeeded, however, in exterminating The camera soars over the city/town/countryside...  The shot inevitably ends up landing on our protagonist's yard/window/hairpiece, and despite this being as tired a camera direction as the arcane We pull back to reveal..., it begins 2010 spec scripts on a weekly basis.

The Obligatory Ethnic/Gender Stereotype Support

Since My Best Friend's Wedding, the heroine's buddy must be gay.  This has given way to The Gay Huddle (i.e. group of gay confidants gather round the heroine's phone/computer with her, see He's Just Not That Into You).  All black women - invariably friends of white heroines - must add "Girl!" at the end of declarative sentences (just as all gay men still gesture/say "Snap!"), and the most popular other ethnic character is The Feisty Hispanic or Black Female Detective (e.g. Date Night).

The Eating After-Hours Rule

When's the last time you ate your Chinese food out of the cartons, perhaps with chopsticks?  No matter: Anyone staying late at the office/precinct/home kitchen counter is required to do so, despite the common sense "Chinese food is for sharing" rule known to the civilized Western world for decades (See: Single women always eat ice cream out of cartons, in your typical zombie rom-com).

Most Unimaginative Music Cue

There's nothing cheaper than invoking a "Soul Classic" for a montage of good times, yet this too still crops up with numbing regularity.  Awhile ago, James Brown (e.g. I Feel Good) was the go-to soul music cue, but Early '70s fare (usually Sly) and a little later (We Are Family) have become the brain-dead norm.

The Big Video/Digital Reveal

The evidence is on tape (or on DVD, zip-drive, 8mm, et al), which means that at the eleventh hour, our hero or heroine will slip the incriminating footage onto a screen - the bigger the better - in front of the rest of the cast and/or public, and - well, you know the rest, right?

The #1 Most Over-Used Image

No competition here, and no exaggeration: This phrase turns up in about one out of every three spec scripts I read.  Not sure who got it started (and I'd like to know, just so I can deck 'em) but Like a deer in headlights is the hands-down most ubiquitous clichéd screenwriting simile in existence.

Finally, in terms of Definitive Screenwriting Fail, there's one physical comedy routine that makes any reader's mind go Tilt! when it shows up on the page:

The Chain-Reaction Scream

We do know who started it: blame Melissa Mathison and Mr. Spielberg for the moment - fresh and funny in 1982, groan-inducing now - when young Drew Barrymore saw E.T. and screamed and E.T. screamed in reaction, and she screamed again, and... "one screams, the other screams" has been with us for 18 years.  So you oughta have your screenwriting license revoked if you're still using it (Runner-up: The Dog Cocking Its Head Like "Huh?" Reaction).

Living the RomCom will be curious to hear of any more recent screenwriting abuses that you'd like to add to the current canon.  Meanwhile, take it from a guy who sits on one of the first lines of resistance in Spec-Land: As you're about to type a phrase, a riff, or a scene on your screen, if you even think you've seen it on another screen before?  Think, "Is that all you've got?" and "It's a trap!" and...  Don't even go there.

Comments

[Jo]

The early-morning-unbrushed-teeth sex right after waking up to present the protagonist couple as loving and intimate usually makes my head explode. Hey, nevermind that cheese garlic chicken last night, stick your tongue in my mouth and do something that makes the average person breathe heavily.

[Rshorts]

That is hilarious, I'm inspired to re-write my current script to include ALL of the above!

[DMD]

That and every computer must have sound (beep-beep, treet treeet) in what ever process (displaying search result, search process, zoom in, zoom out), even without the speaker. It's user interface must also be black-green.

Rshorts, I really want to read your script

[Daniel Smith]

I wonder...have you read any of the Evil Overlord lists? The most well-known is http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html (don't forget the additions in cellblocks A and B) but a quick Google search will reveal others' lists. The one by Peter is also good.

Hope your readers enjoy!

[Daniel Smith]

BTW, I really, really love #46.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

Rshorts, you should really read some of these. Consider #12:

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

BWAHAHA!

[RickRapier]

Some of these seem to be director choices, most especially Chinese from the carton, lame music cues, and the soaring opening/landing on our hero. But you've sure noted some of the most annoying film cliches going. But KICK-ASS isn't responsible for cursing kiddies as a punchline. That one goes as far back as BAD NEWS BEARS and GOOD-BYE GIRL. It's never been funny. @RickRapier

[kristen]

Maybe this isn't a cliche YET, but I'm tired of every action TV show and movie claiming that the FBI and CIA have transparent wall-sized computer monitors where they can drag images from screen to screen.

No joke, I've seen this about 5 times in the last week. Date Night riffed on it amusingly.

[Christine Merchant]

Hello,
(Sorry if my English isn’t perfect – I’m French)

Here are a few scenes I wouldn’t mind not seeing again:

Actors/actresses falling on the floor or out of bed because they are surprised or in a rush...

Clumsiness that leads to great things… In Notting Hill, Julia Roberts goes to Hugh Grant’s house to change after spilling coffee all over herself after bumping into him. It’s a cliché, I’m afraid. I’m a very clumsy woman and nothing ever good comes out of it.

Dancing scenes – A guy invites a girl he likes at his place, they feel awkward, are not sure what to do, so they start dancing (with or without music).

Nursing scenes – A girl invites a guy at her place, somehow he manages to hurt himself going through the door, so she rushes to the bathroom to get a cream and applies it for him (a tiny cut on his finger may force him to take his shirt off!).

There are so many!

Thank you for your blog. I find it very enjoyable and interesting to read.
Christine

[Rachael]

The morning after scene where she puts on his smart white shirt and nothing else.... I have never in my life done this and I'm pretty confident that none of my friends have either.. (wouldn't you just grab his robe or your own clothes?) Plus, it always looks really eighties to me.

[David Melkevik]

Raised on Hollywood movies but living in the UK I always hated the fact that our chinese takeaways came in tupperware boxes and not cartons. I never realised it was a movie cliche!!!!

I think a little bit of the American dream has just died.

[adam torchia]

Awesome, and so true. I also would like to use a "movie" cell phone -- or at least find out who the carrier is! I need a phone that gets perfect reception down in a dark, underground parking lot, or ten fathoms down inside a submarine. I'm not asking too much, am I? But then of course, when I REALLY need it, the battery display will suddenly flash one bar, and then cut out when I'm rushing to the airport, trying stop the girl of my dreams from flying back to Europe!

[mernitman]

Jo: Ah, yes - the pleasures of TRUE intimacy...

Rshorts: Have you read last year's Black List spec BALLS OUT by the Robartard8000? Sort of what they did.

DMD: I want one of those computers!

Thanks Daniel - funny stuff. BWAHAHAHA indeed.

Hey Rick: For shame! The soaring opening and the music cues, believe it or not, are found ON THE SPEC SCRIPT PAGES, every week. The Chinese cartons, 50-50, but they do get written in (e.g. "Towards midnight, and he's eating food out of his takeout cartons as he compiles the stats..." is not uncommon). If you want to talk about directorial influence, my sobering theory is: these screenwriters have seen movies where hack directors have used such devices, and thus, they're now copying them on the page.

Kristen: True that. Loved the DATE NIGHT homage, especially Carell's reaction shot.

Welcome Christine: Thanks for these. The "clumsy woman" nonsense is way overplayed (especially in rom-coms) and it makes me crazy, too!

Rachael: It's probably due to us testosterone-dumbed males enjoying the sight of a half-naked woman in a man's shirt. There's just something about it... Wait, sorry: What were we talking about?

David, I'm so sorry to drip soy sauce on your dream. The Tupperware thing is great, though - I look forward to a scene where British police detectives all sit around dipping into their open Tupperware containers...

A-man: They're funny that way.

[Doug Soesbe]

Always annoyed me when the heroine, with a monster lurking nearby, decides to go for a walk alone, usually in a scanty nightie.

[Stephanie]

After our hero has skidded down a mountain, or escaped a fire with singed hair or has just been dumped by his girlfriend or has just learned he has an STD, someone always says, "Are you okay?" Just once I wish the hero would smack the person who said it. Wait. I think the smack in the head might be a cliche.

[Christian H.]

Very interesting. Admittedly though I never WRITE the camera directions, I have started two movies at the person's home.

One before breakfast in the bedroom, the other after lunch in the kitchen.

The soar-in is only cool if you're soaring from a plot device: like start at a satellite and zoom to a guy hacking into it.

[mernitman]

Mr. Soesbe: This must qualify as the granddaddy of all movie clichés (along with a damsel in distress tied down to the railroad tracks)... Still alive and kicking!

Stephanie: No, I think the smack in the head would be fine. If only the character could smack the writer...

Christian: Starting in the home isn't an issue, it's just "that shot," and I agree: It works (however familiar it may be) if it has a truly specific reason to be.

[Lucy V]

Kudos Billy for exposing some of the most irritating things to read in the WORLD, right there with you! xx

[MaryAn]

I need to make a "bingo" compilation. It's an epidemic.

[Michael]

EVERY police car is using a siren after the perp is safely locked up inside (there's no frickin' emergency, NOW?)

[mernitman]

Lucy: Happy to have you here (and thanks for your contribution)!

Maryan: Bingo! Aurgh...

Michael: Yup, that's one of those "what are they thinking?" clunkers.

[best romance movies]

Cliches are funny... not in a good way. Especially, if you are an aspiring screenwriter. Like the T-shirt says, "avoid it like the plague."

[Ajf 4]

I like romantic poetry, long, but short poems are very simple words, this is I happened to see your blog, I found that you have a blog, I like personality, it makes me happy, may you continue, I'll pay attention to your blog!

[Allie]

To go along with your hated airport chase ending, I would like to add "the chase" in general. It seems every romcom must end with the girl chasing the guy and begging to be forgiven and handed a mulligan (Bridget Jones). Sometimes it's the guy chasing the girl, having just realized he is a dolt and must have her to be complete (Notting Hill).

Too many great movies make me roll my eyes when I see it. "Oh, here it is: the chase scene ending. Geez, I had such great hopes for this one."

There are some without the actual running but a chase of sorts (While You Were Sleeping; You've got Mail).

I've changed endings just to comply and each time I grit my teeth and go, "Why, Hollywood, why?"

[mernitman]

Allie, you know I agree. And whenever I read a studio spec that's a rom-com, I now subliminally anticipate what variation on "the chase" the writer will come up with. Rom-coms always earn extra props from me if they do something other than the standard chase, but you'd be surprised (and saddened) to see how rarely this happens!

[Jana]

What a delight to find your site and link it to my www.Wordsmythe.ca screenwriting site. This article alone is worth the effort!

All the best

jana / http://www.wordsmythe.ca