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Judith Duncan

Hey Billy,I've just read all the Death & Resurrection posts. What a joy. I have shared your sense of loss and confusion with a genre that picked me up as a child and held on tight. I had a lot of time off school as a child and by the time I was nine I had seen most of the classics. I remember knowing that something powerful between Bogart and Bacall meant they belonged together.I will alwys remember the line of Bacall's when she walks in on Bogart holding a collapsed woman in his arms,"What are you trying to do,güess her weight?"
One of my favorite Woody Allen films,The Purple Rose of Cairo ,deals so wonderfully with that disappointing gap between the real and the fantasy. I read something recently that said,"story doesn't give us meaning,it's about our search for it."
Searching for the meaning of love in our stories...I could think of worse things to be doing ;)

Scott

It doesn't particularly matter who we shared our life with before because there's only this moment...?

I don't mean to sound cold, but much from the past can sure stop us from living now.

mernitman

Judith: Thanks for the reading and the insight. The search continues!...

Scott: I always enjoy your comments, but you've stumped me with this. Explain? (I hope you're not mis-reading the post, to think that it's posing your question, especially since - to me - it's all about the opposite.)

Scott

I guess I was addressing the final portion where you beseeched rom-coms to recognize and honor the hard-won scars of past relationships (along with the badges of honor). I think true romance is all about creating love anew, and being in the moment, and the past can frequently (if not always) bog that down. That is the challenge of a long term relationship - keeping the love and romance fresh - and of a new romance where it's not the first rodeo for one or both of the romancers. This is illustrated well in any scene where a sexual climax occurs and Veronica's name comes out of his mouth instead of Betty's, the woman he's actually with. :)

Scott

Or I could've just said, "The secret to a happy marriage (or relationship) is a short memory."

This applies to forgiving and forgetting slights (and worse), and romancing said partner.

mernitman

Scott: Aaaaaaaah, now I sort of get you. No, I really do. Although you're touching on a number of interesting things here, not the least of them being the whole relationship between memory and... well, relationships, which is essay-worthy in and of itself.

Meanwhile, in the Dept. of What I Meant: I'm musing (on and off the cyber-page) about how rom-coms deal with the larger span of "romantic realities," and certainly the issue of how to keep the love and romance fresh is a big one. Generally, rom-coms tend to fixate on GETTING the love, and any blossoming romance (the habitual rom-com focus) that needs freshening is prob'ly one not destined to reach full bloom.

Scott

That's one reason I'm looking forward to Hope Springs with Tommy Lee Jones married to Meryl Streep seeking counseling from therapist Steve Carell.

But yes, I did take things a might off topic - sorry!

mernitman

Scott, at Living the RomCom there IS no off-topic! Please keep up the conversation however it feels right - I thrive on this stuff.

Lynn

I'm a little late to the conversation on this post (and haven't read the full series on the topic yet), but I wanted to echo Scott's comment re: anticipation of Hope Springs and also the upcoming Love Punch, with Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson.

I'm fascinated by the classic rom-coms of remarriage -- Philadelphia Story, His Girl Friday, even Adam's Rib -- because they do explore the realm of romantic disappointment and then the remembrance and renewal of romantic fantasy.

I'm very curious about how these two new films will take up that aspect of the rom-com conversation.

mernitman

Lynn: Me, too. I've read "Hope Springs" and kind of liked it - casting will certainly help, and Ms. Thompson can do no wrong in my book...

JillARasmussen

Wondering if you've seen the British RomCom "Born Romantic"? This post made me think of that film and how it explored much more than just the beginnings of a relationship.

mernitman

Hey Jill: No, I'm not familiar with it, and now you've got me curious - romance with Craig Ferguson...?! Didn't get much of a run over here. I'll add it to my queue.

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