Cinematic Valentines

[A holiday reprise from the archives] 

Declarations

Love is too weak a word for what I feel... I lurve you.  Y'know, I loove you, I, I luff you.  There are two f's.  I have to invent...  Of course I love you.   (Woody Allen in Annie Hall, Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman)

I really, truly, madly, passionately, remarkably, deliciously... juicily love you.   (Alan Rickman inTruly Madly Deeply, Anthony Minghella)

I love how you get cold when it's seventy-one degrees out.  I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich.  I love that you get a little crinkle right there when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.  I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes.  And I love that you're the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.  And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve.  I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  (Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally, Nora Ephron)

He:  I'm looking at you and I just... your face is so beautiful I just wanna smash it, just smash it with a sledgehammer and squeeze it... you're so pretty.

She: I know, I know.  I know.  I just wanna chew your face and scoop out your beautiful, beautiful eyes with an ice cream scooper and eat 'em and chew 'em and suck on 'em.  (Adam Sandler and Emily Watson in Punch-Drunk Love, Paul Thomas Anderson)

He: This is a really stupid question... but I wondered if by any chance--I mean, obviously not, because I am some git who's only slept with nine people, but I just wondered--I really feel... ahm... In short, to recap in a slightly clearer version--in the words of David Cassidy, in fact, while he was still with the Partridge Family--'I think I love you,' and I just wondered whether by any chance you wouldn't like to... No, no, of course not--I'm an idiot, he's not.  Excellent.  Excellent.  Fantastic.  Lovely to see you.  Sorry to disturb--better get on... Fuck.

She: That was very romantic.

He: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.  (Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral, Richard Curtis)

The Reasons Why

There's not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.  (Spencer Tracy in Pat and Mike, Ruth Gordan and Garson Kanin)

I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends.  (Dustin Hoffman to Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate, Buck Henry and Calder Willingham)

I need him like the axe needs the turkey.  (Barbara Stanwyck in The Lady Eve, Preston Sturges)

You know what you are? You're God's answer to Job, y'know? You would have ended all argument between them.  I mean, He would have pointed to you and said, 'I do a lot of terrible things, but I can still make one of these.'  You know?  And then Job would have said,  'Yeah, well, you win.'  (Woody Allen in Manhattan, Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman)

Ninotchka, it's midnight.  One half of Paris is making love to the other half.  (Melvyn Douglas in Ninotchka, Charles Brackett and Billy Wilder)

You make me want to be a better man.  (Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, James Brooks)

She: Do you know what's wrong with you?

He: No, what?

She: Nothing!  (Audrey Hepburn to Cary Grant in Charade, Peter Stone)

Best Pick-up Line (In Theory)

You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role-playing, but the simple truth is, is that I find you very interesting and I'd really like to make love to you.  (Dustin Hoffman to Jessica Lange, who responds by throwing a drink in his face, in Tootsie, Larry Gelbart and Murray Schisgal)

Proposals

He: Do you think... after we've dried off, after we've spent lots of time together, you might agree... not to marry me?  And do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?  Do you?

She: I do.  (Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell in Four Weddings, Richard Curtis)

Philosophy

Love don't make things nice, it ruins everything, it breaks your heart, it makes things a mess.  We aren't here to make things perfect.  Snowflakes are perfect.  The stars are perfect.  Not us.  Not us!  We are here to ruin ourselves and, to break our hearts and love the wrong people and die!  I mean, the storybooks are bullshit!  Now I want you to come upstairs with me, and get in my bed!  (Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck, John Patrick Shanley)

I believe in long, slow, deep, soft wet kisses that last for three days.  (Kevin Costner inBull Durham, Ron Shelton)

You have to have a little faith in people.  (Mariel Hemingway saying goodbye to Woody Allen at the end of Manhattan, Woody Allen & Marshall Brickman)

 

Bumps Along the Way

It isn't that I don't like you, Susan, because after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you -- but, well, there haven't been any quiet moments.  (Cary Grant inBringing Up Baby, Dudley Nichols and Hagar Wilde)

I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen.  (John Cusack in Say Anything, Cameron Crowe)

He: I'm in love with you.

She: (slaps him, twice)  Snap out of it! (Nicholas Cage and Cher in Moonstruck, John Patrick Shanley)

Happy Endings

She: Baby, you are going to miss that plane.

He: (smiling) I know.  (Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke in Before Sunset, Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke)

He: Love means never having to say you're sorry.

She: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  (Ryan O'Neal and Barbara Streisand inWhat's Up Doc, Buck Henry, David Newman and Robert Benton)

Jerry: Damn it, Osgood... I'm a man!

Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.  (Jack Lemmon and Joe E. Brown in Some Like It Hot, Billy Wilder and I.A. Diamond)

...and a Classic Apropos Non-Rom-Com Exchange:

Wyatt Earp: Mac, you ever been in love?

Mac:  No, I've been a bartender all my life.  (Henry Fonda and J. Farrell MacDonald in My Darling Clementine, Samuel G. Engel and Winston Miller)

Comments

[Scott]

Thank you for those. The dearth of great romantic lines in movies today is (ahem) disheartening.

[Tony Conniff]

Cherce!

[Ourdia Hodge]

Thanks for those, Billy. When well written, declarations don't age, do they!

A question on an unrelated subject:

Would you recommend a rom/com writer exchange pages for critique with another rom/com writer or with someone that writes in a different genre?

Thank you!

[mernitman]

Scott: Agreed. Though "Silver Lining Playbook" has some doozies.

Tony: Yes, that is the proper spelling. I corrected for clarity. Should I revise?

Ourdia: Feels like there's pluses and minuses on both sides. Your fellow rom-commer can commiserate and offer comments from the "inside," while your Other Genre Writer will have a more global and hopefully objective perspective. I'd do both!

[Rob in L.A.]

Would I be a total spoilsport if I mentioned that co-screenwriter Marshall Brickman's name was left off the "Annie Hall" and "Manhattan" quotes? (Or is there something about the two screenplays that I don't know?)

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

[mernitman]

Rob: You're no spoilsport and that is My Bad - the post has been corrected accordingly, and thank you for pointing out the oversight!

[Christina]

I finally saw GONE WITH THE WIND last fall and was blown away. I had no idea it was so good. (Duh, that's why people still talk about it.) Scarlett and Rhett still feel modern to me. This was my favorite exchange - I cut some parts out so I wouldn't hijack your comments.

Scarlett: [pleads with Rhett as he is about to leave to join the Confederate Army] Oh, Rhett! Please, don't go! You can't leave me! Please! I'll never forgive you!

Rhett Butler: I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I'll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There's one thing I do know... and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names.
...
Never mind about loving me, you're a woman sending a soldier to his death with a beautiful memory. Scarlett! Kiss me! Kiss me... once...
[he kisses her]

[Megan]

''You know what i wish"? "That a guy could just be honest to walk up to me and say "hey you know im confused about this to". "i could lay a big line on you "we could do alot of role -playing but the simple truth is i find you very intresting and i'd really like to make love to you". "its as simple as that". she says . "You know i could lay a big line on you and we could do alot of role playing but the truth is i find you very intresting and i'd really like to make love to you" before he finishes his words she throws wine in his face. "its as simple as that". he says.

[Megan]

I also like When Harry Met Sally . a very good movie.