Lust for Lloyd

Blogging challenge: could I connect the dots between what was clearly the most significant  Salon story of the day (i.e. the on-line magazine's release of heretofore unseen photos of prison abuse at Abu Ghraib, creating great media buzz and controversy) and the clearly trivial but amusing Salon story that dealt with subject matter ostensibly better suited to this particular blog (i.e. that American women are evidently nuts for Lloyd Dobler, a filmic character who doesn't really exist)?

Nope.  Couldn't do it.  Other than saying "On a good day, that Salon magazine really does cover the bases, doesn't it?" there's not much I could write that wouldn't be a stretch.  But the temptation to go political in this forum is hard to resist, given the bizarre events that are daily unfolding.  For example, did you happen to catch the President's "review" of Dick Cheney's performance?  He said he thought the Vice President's explanation was "strong and powerful."

It's come to this: the amount and variety of bullshit slung by the current reality-challenged administration is such that its proponents are starting to speak of it as though they're film critics.  Imagine... "I found Alito's tap-dancing before the committee to be provocatively entertaining," said a White House spokesperson.  "And if you were a fan of our thrills'n'chills WMD defense of the Iraq war, then run, don't walk to your TV to hear our dramatic and poignant pitch for why we need to spend $75 million to spread propaganda in Iran.  You'll laugh, you'll cry..."

And I'll stop, leaving this job to people like Jon Stewart (man, he must wake up with a smile, knowing that all he has to do is click on the morning news to get his evening's worth of material) and genuine political blogs like this one run by the Film Diva (thank you, WriterGurl), with its nifty official G.W. "Days Left in Office" countdown.  Film Diva also has a film blog that's chockful of useful information on the entertainment industry -- thus providing me with a decent segue (back, Mernitman, back!)  to the subject I meant to talk about in the first place, i.e. this nutty Lloyd Dobler phenomenon.

 

Initially, it's a Lloyd Dobler versus Jake Ryan issue, at least according to Salon and to Hank Stuever of the Washington Post, who reported a few years back on how dreamboat Jake Ryan from John Hughes' Sixteen Candles (actually, that would be actor Michael Schoeffling) had evidently ruined real-life romance for many women of a certain generation.  Because... where can one find a Jake?  Where in this mundane world exists that classic hunk of manhood, seemingly just a jock blowhard at first glance, who turns out to be a sensitive, heroic soul, capable of perceiving geeky young Molly Ringwald as the rightful prom queen of his dreams?

According to Stuever, the tall, unfillable shoes of Jake Ryan have tripped up not just housewives but the likes of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Moon Unit Zappa, no less (Moon used to carry a photo of Jake/Michael around in her wallet, to moon over) by making them pine for a Sixteen Candles romance that real-life can't deliver. 

But hunky Jake has been surpassed by another high school movie hero, as Stuever reports in his current Valentine's Day column: an even larger number of American women have lost it for Lloyd Dobler, the lead of Cameron Crowe's Say Anything.  Sensitive misfit Lloyd, who famously stood in the wet dawn holding a boombox over his head, blasting Peter Gabriel music to prove his undying devotion to one Diane Court (Ione Skye), is the unofficial Man of USA Femme-dom's Dreams.

Nothing terribly wrong with that, except that we're talking about a man who isn't there.  What we're really talking about when we talk about Lloyd is of course John Cusack.   Now, the merging of an actor with a role to become a cultural icon is nothing new (see James Dean as Jim Stark in Rebel Without a Cause -- for that matter, read the vastly entertaining new book about the making of that film, if you're so inclined).   But this Lloyd thing is a bit out of control.  There are web sites, bands named after him, children named after him.  He looms awfully large in our romantic psyche for an imaginary loner-rogue.

Some of it has to do with the cult of Cusack, obviously, and I get that; Cusack is a screen idol whom women want to cuddle and men would like to have a beer with.  But as Stuever tells it, by merging his persona with Crowe's creation, Cusack unwittingly created a monster.  Lloyd Dobler has "ruined men forever" by setting a romantic "standard that no man could ever meet no matter how hard he tried."  One woman interviewed explains that Lloyd, with his "right mix of self-assuredness, sensitivity and geekiness," was "the guy in high school that no woman wanted but ultimately is now the kind of man we want to marry."

Well, thanks a lot, guy.  Sure, we'd all like to be this paradigm ("cynical and yet open, morose and yet curiously happy -- he believes," as Stuever puts it).  But how are we supposed to measure up?  The more I read about Lloyd's ascendance in the constellation of romantic ideals, the more depressed I got.  Because having Jake Ryan for a rival is one thing -- c'mon, such prom king hunks have always been unmatchable, and who'd want to be a thick-headed lunk like him, anyway?  But now we can't be smug and secure in our anti-Jake stance.  Lloyd Dobler is defeating the hopes and dreams of real-life nerds and misfits, by raising the bar of loner-loserdom too high.  And that's not even getting into the patently unfair reductivism of all this, i.e. are these truly the only two role model types we men are given to emulate?

Actually, the Lloyd issue has raised a few questions I'd like to ask of my readership.  I'll avoid the logical first one -- men, are you a Lloyd or a Jake? -- because it's obvious: no man who's even remotely a Jake Ryan would be reading a blog like this, so you guys are clearly all Lloyds.  But here's a couple for the ladies:

Do you really want a Lloyd?  An unambitious, dreamy, dedicated slacker, a poetic stalker more likely to stand in wet grass and moonily spin tunes than like, mow the lawn?

Does that boombox thing really work? 

Is there such a thing as a real-life Lloyd?  And if you've met one, are you still with him?

And finally, a gender-transcending question for the ages: have the movies truly warped our romantic imaginations for good, as in, there's no going back?  Please, somebody tell me that there is life after Lloyd.

Comments

[Binnie]

I had a Lloyd. Sweet, generous with what he had (which wasn't a hell of a whole lot), amazingly considerate lover, very talented musician. Then I introduced him to the right people, he became a hugely successful jingle composer, went to China for a vacation and married a 19-year old from Shanghai. So, um, NO, I'm not still with him. The boombox thing can be charming with the right music (when his Dominican neighbors played salsa too loud he would counteract with a Sousa march or the love theme from Romeo and Juliet). And because I once loved a Lloyd, I do appreciate the occasional Lloydishness (?), that comes in a more mature package; however, I've learned that ultimately a Lloyd doesn't stay a Lloyd (the movie never does get to that part).

[carolyn]

i definitely love lloyd. even tho cusack has let me down in other roles.

[jamy]

I don't know--this fascination with celebrities/fictional characters has never made sense to me. Don't get me wrong, I love 'Say Anything,' but when I saw it, it reminded me of the boy who'd just broken up with me--he wasn't like Lloyd--but he was my first love. It was the feelings between the characters that resonated with me, not the qualities of Lloyd.

I am fond of saying, "Ethan Hawke is my boyfriend" (so much so that some friends will remind me of it if I claim that, say, Chris O'Donnel is my boyfriend), but this 'crush' does not play a role my day-to-day life--other than for comic effect.

[Scott the Reader]

Ironically, I remember reading that Cameron Crowe based Lloyd on this really weird neighbor of his, who was into kickboxing and would often launch into riffs like the whole "never buy anything sold or manufactured thing".

Of course, in real life women flee odd guys like this.

[Angie]

I saw that article in the Washington Post and wrote a blog entry about my romance with a Lloyd. While my Lloyd was great, now I'm looking for Jake. :)

[writergurl]

You're welcome. I love both her blogs!

As for the central question. *Shrug* I don't want either.

[jefe]

"Do you really want a Lloyd? An unambitious, dreamy, dedicated slacker, a poetic stalker more likely to stand in wet grass and moonily spin tunes than like, mow the lawn?"

You're forgetting a key component of Lloyd's charm -- he was a KICKBOXER! Sweet, emotional, dreamy, yes... but he could defend his lady if he had to, in theory. That has to count for something.

[kristen]

Though I think the movie is cute, it never spoke to me -- and I think I was either its prime target or 3-5 years younger than its prime target.

I always thought Lloyd Dobbler seemed like a dork, but furthermore, he was infatuated with another dork, so I couldn't quite understand the appeal of either one of them. *I* was a dork, and as an escapist, I had no interest in watching a romantic film about a dorky girl being romanced by an even dorkier guy. Dorky girl/hot guy, all the way. If you're going to dream, dream big.

So. Jake Ryan. Or, Jane Ryan Redux, in Mermaids.

[MaryAn]

Hot is the man who will hold your head while you're barfing in the toilet, notices you cleaned the house, compliments your crappy meat loaf and offers to take out the trash. Romantic is the man who still thinks you look 22 in your 42 year old face.

[abby]

Hope it's okay to respond to the first paragraph of this post (re: our political situation)-- Just wanted to give you and others a heads up to check out this kickass speech Richard Dreyfuss gave at the Nat'l Press Club 2/16/06 re: Hollywood's view of the Media.(CSpan2) Outstandingly eloquent, moving and of the moment- near the end holds up the importance of supporting lost causes at times -- like Impeaching George Bush. Not a rhetorical speech, however -- a stunner. Our Goodbye Girl Guy Did Good!

[mernitman]

Ah, Binnie... what "the movies don't get to"...!

Carolyn: maybe we never get over our first Cusack.

Jamy: I'm going to start telling people Ethan Hawke is my boyfriend (for comic effect), too.

Oh, God, Scott, so true -- half the shit pulled by romantic leads in movies would only lead to lawsuits and homicide in real life.

Angie, GMTA (Great Minds Think Alike) and I suspect that one reason your "D" didn't see SAY with you was that it might've topped (and popped) his Lloyd-ness.

Writergurl: ...and you are wise.

Jefe: Good point! Man, that Lloyd really did have it covered...

Kristen: makes sense... tho it's hard for me to see Ione Skye as "dorky."

MaryAn, sounds like you've got it all.

Thanks Abby!

[FT]

I'm shocked that the whole Lloyd thing is still going on. Last time I checked (ie the last time I could feel myself being weighed up and found seriously wanting while watching a movie with my partner) it was Rob Gordon in High Fidelity who was the new enemy. This Cusack guy has a lot to answer for.

[ECHenry]

Billy, sorry I hadn't responded sooner, out here in WA we had a wicked storm teens/20's with wind gusts lost power, had to fix our water heater, repair my printer, still working on our malfunctiong furnace (it now stays on all the time).

To answer your question, no, I don't think romantic comedies of the mid-late 80s and beyond have warped our romantic imaginations. They "inspire" romance -- that's why girls like them.

Behavior is learned by watching others. Hence the logic, our romantic prowess/potential is enhansed by watching romatic comedies. They add arrows in our love arrosnal.

Yeah, I have Lloyd tendencies. But I don't have the balls that guy has. But that's what I love about romanitic comedies. You see people do things that you wish you had the courage to do. I mean gosh I'm attracted to women like crazy, but does that mean they're into me. I highly doubt it. But in romantic comedies, the underdog usually gets the girls. Hence dorks leave the theatres with a reknewed sence of "having a shot", and the subtle hint is placed in the girl's mind that, "hey, going out with a "Lloyd" might actually be a fun thing.

So... Don't be cynical. Romantic comedies ARE A GOOD THING. And in my opinion, Billy, you have chosen to a master in the most important of all movie genres.

- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA

[Brooke]

Hey, isn't the real secret to Lloyd's appeal that he really seems to LOVE whats-her-name? It isn't that we loved Cusak's weird, neurotic, kickboxing character ... we loved the idea that there might be someone out there who loved US that much.

[mernitman]

Welcome, Brooke! True that Lloyd's great love was indeed "the secret to his appeal,"
but when so many people in the culture respond to this particular lover's approach, one naturally ends up examining the messenger more than the message.

[Scribe LA]

Wonderful post! I don't think the romance of the 80's hero ruined things for us in the real world. Rather, I believe it gives us some good ideas and probes us into thinking about we really want. I have swooned over Jake. I have swooned over Lloyd. I think both have merits, if nothing else, both have this in common: they honestly care about the girl they pursue. Maybe that is what we, as women, are truly after. And if they look like Jake or are charmingly unusual like Lloyd, then, all the better.
Cheers!
Scribe