Here's the pitch:
Boy meets girl in high school in the '60s. Dominique thinks Andre's sweet and a wonderful kisser -- but by graduation, she decides life's too long to start so early with love, so she breaks things off, and he goes to Annapolis. Still carrying a torch for her, Andre invites Dominque to an Army-Navy game in November of '63... but JFK's assassinated, the game's postponed -- D0minique slips away again.
He goes to Vietnam, comes back, marries, has two kids... she meanwhile has a short-lived marriage annulled in '70 and lives an international life as a business consultant (Paris, NYC). Decades later, after mourning the death of his beloved wife and finally feeling ready to move on, Andre seeks out Dominique by writing to their high school. She gets a letter from the school and throws it away, assuming they're soliciting funds...
But curiosity compels her to open the envelope when she's taking out the trash, and she reads Andre's letter. They arrange to meet... begin to date... and fall in love. This time, it's Andre who throws the curveball, announcing he's already booked to go to Panama with the Peace Corps. Dominique tries to lure Andre back... and ends up going to Panama with a Thanksgiving dinner she's cooked for him (great scene here when Panamanian Customs guys think her package may be a bomb, and open it to find a turkey).
Andre decides to surprise her with a marriage proposal on his 63rd birthday, figuring he'll pop the question in the garden of his country house in Woodbury, Connecticut... but get this: Andre finds the garden filled with friends invited by Dominique to a surprise party for him. The ring burns a hole in his pocket all night, and when the last guest has left... Andre asks Dominique to marry him (nearly 45 years after their first kiss). She jumps on his lap in response.
Whaddya think?
Of course the story gains a whole lot of interest when you learn that everything I just told you actually happened -- it's a Vows article from this past Sunday's "Weddings/Celebrations" pages in the NY Times. But Jane Gordon's reportage reads so much like a romantic dramedy, that naturally enough, I saw the movie.
And naturally enough, on closer examination... I passed on the project. I mean -- great incidents: the JFK turn, the turkey bit, the surprise party in the garden -- and that "letter in the trash" moment, that's priceless. It's also a contrivance which, if you saw it in a movie, might earn a groan -- the kind of manipulative beat that'd make you think some screenwriter was being too cute.
Given such real-life material to adapt, in fact, you'd find some story problems that needed fixing. Dominique's bow-out, early on (can we give her a stronger motivation? Dad hates Andre, packs her off to school, something --) and what the hell do we do with that 1970-2002 gap? And then Andre's Peace Corps obsession -- yeah, it's noble'n' all, but c'mon, guys -- we're doing a love story here.
I'm not saying, given enough fixes and rethinks, that you couldn't get such a movie off the ground. And as someone who used to write romance novels for an imprint called Second Chance at Love, and who in real life recently got back in touch with a high school sweetheart, I'm intrigued by such a late-in-life Second Chance rom-com.
Nonetheless, weird but true: it's often exactly what strikes us as oh-my-God! about a true story that instantly yields credibility busts or kitsch, when viewed as a made-up fiction. And these days, when what's happening in real life is already so freaking bizarre (the painfully surreal saga of the entire Bush administration is one of those you couldn't make this shit up scenarios), reality itself has become the Dream Factory to top. Witness the current failure of Universal's satire American Dreamz, which despite a star-studded cast and some good gags, simply can't surpass the real American Idol's Simon Cowell, nor our real bozo of a Prez, for outre absurdity.
[For the record -- since some of you know that I work for Uni, and to debunk the myth of Reader as Powerful Gatekeeper -- I passed on Dreamz both times it was submitted, to no avail (our gallows-humored Story Department joke at the studio is that if two readers pass on a given project, that means nothing, but if three readers pass... they buy it for a million dollars). As penance for my astute but irrelevant judgement, I then became the reader to give notes on all subsequent drafts of Dreamz, existentially. But I digress.]
More than ever these days, studios routinely tap news stories for movie material. And now even Tinseltown itself is yielding a juicy pitch torn from the headlines: this Pellicano scandal, like a project in development, keeps turning up better and better plot turns. I can't help seeing Gary Shandling as himself, among other Hollywood notables, in the comedic-noir indie that seems inevitable, what with second act turns like this latest: Hollywood Detective Accused of Ordering 'Hit' on a Witness. As they say, the thing is practically writing itself.
Would that our job was so easy. Bubbling under the subtext of this rumination is the question, What is a screenwriter to do, re: besting reality in the movie sweepstakes?
No easy answers, here. But on his I Am Trying To Make You Laugh blog, The Screenwriting Guy has come up with some theories that will both induce laughs and also make you think, as he examines the uncomfortable realities that determine what a Truly Great Movie Idea really is.
Screenwriting Guy's suppositions, gleaned from a reality sandwich-biting trip to our fair city, supply some of the hardcore facts any pre-pro screen-scribe should know before laboring over a spec script. The post also explains, in a sense, why Snakes On a Plane -- the movie Samuel Jackson claims he signed up for based on the title alone -- is already a hit months before its release, let alone Why the Thing Got Made.
It's a fascinating mystery -- this elusive, ineffable sought-after factor that makes the difference between a true story that drop jaws, and a undeniably movie-able movie like -- Jaws. 
What is the difference between a real-life experience that makes us think "This is just like a movie!" and... what actually could be a movie?
Discuss, comment. Living Rom-Commers want to know.
All of my love life, aged 16 until now (only a decade) would look like a bad romantic comedy on paper. I discovered this yesterday when exchanging notes with cyber-girlfriend The Optimistic Reader in an IM conversation.
Aged 16, I went out with a fella who turns out to be my now-husband's brother.
Aged 18, I had a baby by an emotionally and morally feckless primary school teacher.
Aged 20, I had an affair with a gay man. Yes, a gay man - I knew he was gay, by the way.
Aged 21, a gay female tried to have an affair with ME and stalked me within an inch of my life.
Also that year, I started going out with a compulsive gambler (a male) who would appear and disappear for days, even weeks.
Aged 23 I decided I was going to never, ever go out with anyone, ever again.
My original boyfriend's brother asked me out again and again and again all through this time. Apparently thirteen times in seven years. I eventually said yes out of morbid curiosity - he tells me he'll only go out with me if we "get married and stuff". I call his bluff and say we might as well.
And we did.
If that went in a movie, NO ONE would ever believe it...Largely 'cos no one believes me in real life either!!! : )
Posted by: Lucy | May 10, 2006 at 01:25 AM
I read that item in the "Vows" column this past Sunday and told so many people about it. It just seemed to confirm my belief (or my hope??) that certain relationships are meant to be, but often need a little nudge. (Sigh)My romantic fantasy, I suppose...
Welcome back, Billy.
Posted by: binnie | May 10, 2006 at 04:31 AM
"What do you do when life exceeds your dreams?"
"Keep it to yourself."
The rise of chaos in real life may go a long way toward explaining Quentin's popularity. When life is this crazy, the only thing you can do to top is it fill a plane with motherf*cking snakes, man!
Or in Q's case, fill a Japanese restaurant with fake blood.
Posted by: JJ | May 10, 2006 at 07:11 AM
I know of at least two or three "reunited 30 years later" stories in real life that did not work out. I think that would be funnier! But possibly not so romantic. Oh, maybe the kids of the long lost lovers could get together? THAT would be funny.
Posted by: jamy | May 10, 2006 at 10:18 AM
I don't think there's enough conflict between the characters to sustain it as a full-length romantic comedy, and the demographics of it would be all wrong commercially, since everything after the set-up would revolve around characters in the 60s. How do you expect to get the teens to come out for that? I think the story would work better as one of those little snippets told by the older couples in between the action in When Harry Met Sally.
Posted by: Daniel W. | May 10, 2006 at 10:53 AM
Give one of them Alzheimers and you have The Notebook.
Posted by: chesher cat | May 10, 2006 at 11:27 AM
Lucy, I think there's actually good fodder for 2 or 3 romantic dramedies in there (of an admittedly dark-comedic bent)... most impressive is the "by age 23" detail... of course, memoir might be your most saleable medium...
Binnie, romantic fantasy is what makes the world go round (among a few other things)...
JJ, I guess it's about topping chaos with CONTROLLED chaos...
Jamy: "Kids of the Long Lost Lovers" sounds good to me...
Daniel: Spoken like a true -- hey, Daniel, are you working for a studio?
Chesher, now why didn't I think of that...
Posted by: mernitman | May 10, 2006 at 01:57 PM
Billy: Why do you ask? Are you guys at Universal hiring?
Posted by: Daniel W. | May 10, 2006 at 03:20 PM
Lucy, sounds like you lived the staring role in "Arround the World in 50 Dates" even before it even became a movie!
Billy,
Good to have ya back in the saddle again, pard'ner! That plane and snake movie sounds like it's gunna be a laugher. Bad career choice for Samuel L. Jackson, he must be hurnt'in to find roles suitible for him to play.
The NY Times love story was no Forest Gump. Yeah, it'd be cool to hear IN CONVERSATION, but I'm with ya, it would never play well on the big or small screen.
- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA
Posted by: E.C. Henry | May 10, 2006 at 06:16 PM
EC - if I had only gone out with these weirdoes ONCE, life would be so much simpler... ; )
I don't think there's enuff oldie-sex in films. I reckon this wrinkly-rom-com could be a goer, if only for that reason. Come on...who's NOT curious about sex over 65 (if they're under 65!)? Does anyone want to enlighten me?
Posted by: Lucy | May 11, 2006 at 06:04 AM
A great story idea, movie or otherwise, is an idea that forces interesting choices on its characters. In the original Poseidon Adventure, as in the TV series LOST, characters are forced to reexamine their assumptions and to decide what is riskier, following reason or taking a leap of faith, accepting authority or questioning everything. And the answers aren't simple, which means we see the cracks appear where there are fault lines the characters' psyches, which is why we watch (although cute girls and guys in tight, wet clothes are an added bonus).
Reunion with childhood sweetheart, no matter how charming, wouldn't interest me unless it forced the kind of choice that revealed something interesting about the protagonist. My personal favorite story of that sort? Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands, (great book and movie, for those who aren't familiar, in which a widow remarried to a nice, respectable, boring man starts to see -- and feel -- the seductive ghost of her philandering first husband).Who's she gonna choose?
Sorry to be long winded here
Posted by: alisa kwitney | May 11, 2006 at 06:12 AM
Daniel, presently no openings are available, but if you'd like to send your head-shot, resume, and the scalp of the last exec whose back you stabbed and climbed over to get here, etc....
EC, yes, but watch: Snakes' opening weekend will be HUGE...
Lucy, the good news is that Something's Gotta Give did actually push the door open a few inches re: Love Over Fifty stories, so we'll see...
Alisa, not longwinded but intriguing; I'd generally agree with your Choices Theory. A completely different take on the "late in life reunion" idea that didn't entirely work but has nonetheless stayed with me over the years is Truffaut's The Woman Next Door: similar-to-Flor choices in a realistic, noir-melodrama vein...
Posted by: mernitman | May 11, 2006 at 06:48 AM